I am not one of those Americans who have internalized the war on Christmas, heeded the dire warnings, or demonized liberals. I offer this essay as a writer who has heard the rumors and is looking for facts. With this in mind, I have found that insofar as there is a war on Christmas it is being fought most prominently this year in three specific battle zones— retail, government, and the church—which I will address in turn. Then I will discuss the underlying cultural assumptions that must be addressed in order for us to win these battles. Finally, I will offer a strategy that will give us the advantage in this war.